19 – arguably, daniel handler

arguably, daniel handler pp7

adverbs

london: harper perennial, 2007

(originally published in the US by ecco in 2006)

 

 

‘Money money money money money money money money. Let no one say it has no place in a love story. ‘

 

 

Arguably it might be helpful if I were to, sometimes at least, give some further background info on the author.  Well, perhaps unfortunately, that’s not going to happen. Not today anyway.

Largely because in order to do so I would have to know something worth sharing. And I have no intention of researching interesting facts – such as when preparing his toothbrush for toothbrushing does Daniel Handler fill the entire length of the brush with toothpaste in one beautifully sweeping movement like they do on the tv adverts, or does he consider a mere roundish peaked dollop sufficient? I’m not about to search out such idiosyncratic data because then I would have to consciously make the effort to let this not affect my write up. And that would be impossible.

Not impossible like a slice of  buttered bread landing buttered side not-down on the lounge carpet when you haven’t hoovered for too long; impossible like keeping your eyes open when you sneeze.

 

I can tell you that Daniel Handler is the author of the Lemony Snicket series – I know this because I read it on the cover.

 

‘Helena was a young woman, originally from Britain, whatever that means.’

 

So Adverbs, a collection of seventeen of them. It starts Immediately,  Obviously continues and concludes Judgmentally – you get the idea. But you don’t, not yet. Because this isn’t what it’s about at all.

I thought I’d try one but I couldn’t pause until I’d read three. I want to read more. Soon. Today, preferrably.  Stories such as ‘Arguably’ are a delight in their own right but even more tantalising is the repetition, the cross-referencing, the interplay that yodels ridiculously across the valleys between pages.

 

Sparkling lines are stolen by a magpie from one story and set down to nest in another.

Volcanoes erupt in lava laughter in one moment, only to run cooling down the slopes of a later idea.

 

‘Helena blew a smoke ring, which was illegal in this country.’

 

Witty, delightfully absurd and refreshingly bright.

My dad has this expression he uses when something is ridiculously sharp  – like a very juicy lemon, or rhubarb that has been stewed without any sugar – ‘” Go t’ heck”, he says, ” ‘at draw ya arse up to ya elbow ber!” I think this might be like that, in a tart, amusing way. Absurdly impossible, arrestingly sharp and eye-wideningly amusing.

I also know that I believe Daniel Handler considers a peaked dollop of toothpaste to suffice on most  tuesdays. Call it gut instinct.

 

‘ “It’s a job,” David said. “A teaching job in San Francisco. We’ll kill two birds with one stone.”

“Dead birds everywhere,” Helena said out loud. ‘